Assertiveness and Self-confidence

How to help build, boost, and develop self-confidence and assertiveness

Building self-confidence and assertiveness is probably a lot easier than you think. 'Non-assertive' people (in other words 'normal people') do not generally want to transform into being excessively dominant people. When most people talk about wanting to be more assertive, what they usually really mean is:

• 'How can I become more able to resist the pressure and dominance of excessively dominant people?'
• 'How can I stand up to bullies (or one bully in particular)?'
• And also, 'How can I exert a little more control in situations that are important to me?'

Pure assertiveness - dominance for the sake of being dominant - is not a natural behaviour for most people.

The Subtlety of Language

I have found that sometimes the subtle difference in our attitude, which of course can make a major difference in our future, can be as simple as the language we use. The difference in even how you talk to yourself or others. Consciously making a decision to quit saying what you don't want and to start saying what you do want. I call that faith. Believing the best, hoping for the best and moving toward the best.

A few examples could be, instead of saying “What if somebody doesn't respond?” you start saying, “What if they do respond?” Instead of saying “What if someone says no?” you say “What if they say yes?” Instead of ‘What if they start and quit?” you say ‘What if they start and stay?” Or instead of “What if it doesn't work out?” you say “What if it does work out?” And the list goes on and on.

The Impact System, By Stephan Longworth - "Inspirational!"

Stephan Longworth is an inspirational character who has a remarkable enthusiasm for what he does - network marketing.
Along his journey, he has clearly been influenced by some great motivational speakers (Kalench, Kiyosaki,Rohn) and in the book he has distilled much of this wisdom putting very much his own twist on it.

The first half of the book is "getting your head right" and here the focus is very much on self-belief, positive thinking, perseverance and determination. He leaves the reader in no doubt that the only thing between them and great success is...them.

Easily said, for sure. But this doesn't make it any less truthful. Certainly, this half of the book is good advice for anybody setting out on a significant challenge in their lives - the advice and guidance is all easily transferable.

The remainder of the book concentrates on the process of developing an effective programme which is easily duplicated, the cornerstone of success in network marketing. Who can argue against it as it's been put together by one of the most successful network marketers in the country. So many authors of "self-improvement" and "motivational" books are theorists. What Mr Longworth has on his side is that he doesn't just "talk the talk", he's also very much "walked the walk", something which lends the book instant credibility.

I bought this as I'm very much in the foothills, and was looking for inspiration and guidance from somebody who has had success in this business. This book has it, in spades! 

Role of self confidence for success in life

What is the role of self confidence in life?

How can self confidence help a person become successful in life?  While I don't want to sound like someone who wants to hype the importance of self confidence still I can't prevent myself from saying that self confidence is the most important requirement for success in life.
While self confidence won't always guarantee that you will succeed in life still a confident person will have at least 10 times the chance of success of a person who lacks confidence.
In this article I will tell you about the role of self confidence for success in life.

Role of self confidence in success

Here is how self confidence affects your ability to succeed:

• We get what we focus on: If someone believed that he is not worthy he will fear to take risks, he wont achieve anything and as a result he will fulfill the prophecy!! One important role for self confidence in life is that it prevents the person from fulfilling such false prophecies and so allows him to succeed. (see How limiting beliefs affect your life)
• Success, the number of tries and self confidence: In my article how to become successful in life i explained how success usually happens after a certain number of tries. The role of self confidence in success is that it encourages you to keep trying until you get what you want. People who lack self confidence stop trying after one or few failures and that's why they don't succeed in life
• Success and believing in yourself: Do you know how to make people believe in you? Its all about believing in yourself in such a way that you become confident enough to shake their existing beliefs about you if they were negative. Another important role of self confidence in success is that it allows you to believe in yourself and as a result other people believe in you
• Self confidence, depression and success: Confident people can get depressed too but lack of self confidence can result in depression and so reduces the chance of success in life!! In the Solid Self confidence program I said that One extremely important role for self confidence for success in life is that it can prevent depression. Depression happens when you lose hope in reaching your important goals and so if you were confident enough that you are going to reach them then you won't get depressed
• Self confidence and rejection: Another important role for self confidence in success is that it prevents the person from giving up after experiencing rejections. Almost all successful people were rejected in a way or another before they managed to succeed. Had they lacked self confidence they might have stopped before they reached success (see Insprirational stories of success)

The important role of self confidence in success. 
 
It's now clear from the previous examples that even though self confidence is not the only factor required for success still it has an extremely important role in letting you achieve success in life.
There is nothing you can do to yourself better than building self confidence if you are serious about succeeding in life.
http://www.2knowmyself.com/Role_of_self_confidence_for_success_in_life

Is This The Worst You Tube Debut Ever?

Last night (or rather early this morning) I made my first ever video and posted it on You Tube.  It is awful!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUBe05Ys0j8

So why am I sharing this with you?

You see I have been putting this off for longer than I care to admit.  I KNOW that video is the future of blogging, and in fact the rest of the internet and social media, but I would keep giving myself good reasons why I was not starting to do it.  I did not have the right camera, the lighting was bad, I needed to have a trusted and skilled assistant to hold the camera and start and stop it in the right time, and I needed to get video editing  software and learn how to use it.....You get the idea.

Anyway last night while doing something else I saw a headline on upoading videos to You Tube so I decided to bite the bullet and go for it.  After all, I would delete it straight away if it was awful, right?

So about 1.00 am in my home office with just the webcam in my laptop and a desk lamp I shot my first, stumbling video.  I had not even changed my crumpled shirt, I stumbed over my words, and I was relieved as hell to press the "stop recording" tab!  Phew, it was done.  I allowed my wife to see it and emailed the link to my daughter (who is my business partner) warning her not to fall off her chair laughing and hurt herself.  I went to bed knowing that I would take it downfirst thing in the morning.

But in the morning I thought, hang on, isn't confidence about being OK about having a go, about not getting it perfect or even half right the first time, and about admitting our mistakes and having th courage to laugh at ourselves and admit that we still have a lot to learn?

So dear friends here it is, warts and all, but if it encourages anyone else to have a go: Start a new business, learn a new skill, try for a new job, pick up the phone and make a challenging call, or anything else that they have been putting off for too long, it will have been worth it.

Stuck into the top of the fax machine in my home office is the following quotaton, sent to me by Bob Proctor:

"Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire and begin at once, whether you're ready or not, to put this plan into action." (Napoleon Hill)

Whatever your dream, your desire, create a plan and go for it, ready or not!

How to Let Go of Limitations? Here Are 4 Steps to Help You Get Started

Have you ever made a decision to make a change in your life? Then came up with a plan on how to implement it, made a start and within a couple of hours or days you were right back in the same old behavior? A little more frustrated and discouraged, and wondering why it's so hard to change? Learning how to let go of the limiting beliefs and behaviors that block our attempts at positive change is a process that requires due diligence.

If you've ever tried and failed to make changes in your behavior you'll know that consciously directing your willpower alone is ineffective most of the time. For change to be effective and long-term, it has to happen with the cooperation of the subconscious mind where our ingrained beliefs, blocks and barriers reside. After all, your mind with all its negative thoughts, excuses and poor decisions is what created this mess in the first place!
Letting go of limitations requires a deeper level of investigation and correction as outlined in the following four steps:

Key to career success is confidence, not talent

The secret to career success is not talent, hard work or education, but sheer, unashamed confidence, a study has suggested.

By Hannah Furness

Although workers with big egos will often perform poorly and make more mistakes, their colleagues consistently fail to spot their errors and continue to believed they are “terrific” or “beloved”. Their personality means they are often promoted over those who are more competent, as colleagues mistake their confidence for talent.

A study of more than 500 students, academics and workers, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, showed that those who appeared more confident achieved a higher social status than their peers.  Within a work environment, higher-status individuals tended to be more admired, listened to, and had more sway over group decisions. 

Prof Cameron Anderson of the University of California, who led the research, said that, as a result, “incompetent people are often promoted over their more competent peers”. He said those who were overconfident often sought power, fame or success and that overconfidence was encouraged by the prospect of increased social status, respect and esteem.

“Our studies found overconfidence helped people attain social status,” he said. “Those who believed they were better than others, even when they weren’t, were given a higher place in the social ladder, and the motivation to attain higher social status therefore triggered overconfidence.” The researchers found that many of their subjects believed sincerely that they were more physically talented, socially adept and skilled at their jobs than reality reflected. In one study, 94 per cent of college professors were found to believe that their work was above average.

Heaven, or Hell? It's a matter of attitude!

I am grateful to my former foster Son Richard Sheldrake for this story.  How are you Richard?  we lost touch a bit but with the opportuirues of the internet we should soon be back in contact.

So, the story....

A great Chinese sage was granted a vision of Hell, and Heaven. (This seems culturally dissonant, but bear with me!)  In the first vision, of Hell, he was taken into a banqueting hall where there were tables laden with dishes of the most rare and delicious food, their appetizing aromas filling the hall with mouthwatering scents.

Around the table were the damned, unable to taste the delicious banquet because they were provided only with chopsticks 9 feet long!  Unable to feast on the delicious food they were condemned to eternal hunger and frustration with their sustenance and reward eternally out of reach.

Full of sorrow and pity for the fate of the eternally condemned the sage was led from this sad place t another hall, where again he was surprised to see tables laden with dishes of the most rare and delicious food, their appetizing aromas filling the hall with mouthwatering scents.  As before, the diners were provided only with chopsticks 9 feet long, but in contrast to the first hall this was filled with laughter and merriment as everyone enjoyed the wonderful food provided for their sustenance and delight. 

They were feeding each other!

Who have you fed. or helped, today?


 

365 Steps to Self-confidence:A complete programme for personal transformation

Confidence is not something you can have instantly, or without effort, but this book by David Lawrence Preston takes you by the hand and in just a ew minutes a day builds your confidence for any situation. This essentially practical book will enable you to

• Feel good all the time
• Lrarn to love yourself
• be confident with the oppsite sex
• handle job interviews
• cope with rejection
• have the courage to take a step change - like start your own business, or
• advance your career

If you need more confidence, or know somebody else whose confedence is low then you can do yourself or them a favour and get this book!

How to Develop Self Esteem

Our self esteem is instilled in us during our youth. Being constantly criticized by family, friends, and society tends to slowly strip us of our feelings of self worth. Our low self esteem strips us of our self confidence to make even the smallest of decisions. Improving your self esteem increases your confidence and is a first step towards finding happiness and a better life. Read on to find out how!