What do the world's most successful
individuals possess that allows them to be so influential? What is it
that gives a rock star, a politician, or an athlete the courage to
perform in front of thousands, even millions of people, or a business
leader the ability to keep churning out product after product that is
game-changing but also high risk for his company? For these people to do
what they do, they need a strong belief in themselves that allows them
to persist in the face of failure and to keep trying, no matter their
level of fear.
They have an internal drive that tells them that they can succeed, that
they have the ability to handle whatever comes their way. Is this
characteristic unique to them? Or is it something we all can possess?
I
wrote my first blog post on the importance of having a strong social
support network, and I shared some research on the subject that made it
clear that friends and family are key contributors to health and
success. With this post I'm going to cover another tool that also leads
to health and success, one that is not external but rather inside of
each of us: confidence. Confidence is "a feeling of self-assurance
arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities,"
and it plays an important role in building healthy relationships,
achieving success in your professional life, and staying motivated.
Fortunately, it can be developed easily with practice and perspective.
People fear public speaking more than dying. For most of my life, the thought of public speaking
made my stomach turn and twist. My anxiety would build and build in the
hours leading up to a class presentation, and you could hear the fear
in my voice when I spoke; frankly, I just couldn't handle it. I've
seen the same fear in many other students and in some of my colleagues,
as well. I had a public speaking professor who once told me that the
American people were polled about their greatest fears, and the one
thing they feared most, even more than death, was speaking in front of
an audience.
But Professor Wells also told me that the only
way to be rid of this fear was to face it. I took his words to heart,
and over the last two years, I've experienced a major shift in my
attitude. I now enjoy the thrill associated with public speaking,
whether in a private setting with peers or in front of strangers at a
conference or competition.
This confidence extends to my research and writing ability, as well as
how I feel during even the most basic social interactions. What was the
key to this newfound strength? It may sound silly, but I actually
started acting like I believed in myself.
Most people are familiar with the term 'placebo', but for those of you who aren't, a placebo
is a term used most commonly in medicine that refers to a pill or
procedure that gives the illusion of treatment but actually provides no
physiological effect. For instance, in a study of a new drug for depression,
one group of participants will be given the treatment, while another
group will be given a sugar pill (the placebo) instead. Surprisingly,
the participants who receive the sugar pill often show signs of
improvement, though the sugar pill itself is not providing the relief.
The fact that these people are expecting some sort of effect is enough
for them to perceive changes that aren't physically there, and this is
called the placebo effect. It has even been observed in cancer patients
who received an empty injection but who, nonetheless, had their cancer
go into remission, simply because they believed they were being
injected with a new miracle drug. It seems that the expectations
associated with a treatment can often be as powerful as the treatment
itself.
Another related construct is called the self-fulfilling
prophecy. The term was coined by sociologist Robert K. Murton to
describe a phenomenon that dates back to Ancient Greece. Basically, a
prediction about the outcome of a situation can invoke a new behavior
that leads to the prediction coming true. For example, if I believed
that I was going to fail an exam, that belief may have led me to alter
the strategies I used for preparation and taking the test, and I would
probably fail it. While I may have had a good chance to pass, my belief
hindered my performance, and I made this belief become reality.
Psychological research shows that the self-fulfilling prophecy works for
both negative and positive predictions, indicating, again, that the
beliefs you hold have an impact on what happens to you.
The point
I'm trying to get at here is that you can start to build your
confidence right now by telling yourself that you've got it in you; the
more you believe that you are capable, the more you will be. The placebo
effect tells us that expectations alone can be strong enough to
overcome diseases and afflictions, and the self-fulfilling prophecy
illustrates how your predictions about a situation influence the
outcome, so why shouldn't you be able to alter your expectations about
your own abilities and experience a renewal of confidence? Get into the
routine of telling yourself that you can be successful in all aspects of
your life, and you may find that you can not only handle many more
challenges but that you have been able to all along.
Important,
too, is your ability to put your performance in perspective. Not every
speech you give, point you raise, or question you ask will be perfect,
and, for some of us, remembering the failures is far easier than
remembering the successes. But if you want to build your confidence, you
need to call upon the times when you've triumphed. Try to recall just
one of these moments for each moment of failure that plagues you, and
you'll find yourself much better off. And remember that, even when
everything else is out of your control, there is one person who should
always be on your side: you. If you can depend on yourself, you'll find
that other people can, too.
Reprinted from Psychology Today
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