Saturday 29 March 2014

How to Feel Confident: Part 3: Practice, Practice, Practice


  1. Do something you're good at. And yes, you're good at something. Even if it's cleaning toilets, you're good at it. And you know it! When we do things we're good at, we feel a sense of pride and accomplishment. Confidence stems from there. And not only do it, but do it often. It'll remind you how awesome you are.
    • Being good at something, mastering a skill, gives us personality, gives us something to talk about, and makes us interesting in addition to giving us a sense of fulfillment. And did we mention doing things we're good at is fun? So what are you waiting for? Take a little me time and go do your thing.
  2. Talk to everyone. Part of lacking confidence comes from not really understanding people. To get around this, talk to everyone. Even if it's just a remark about the bus, talk to everyone. Here's what you'll probably learn: 
    • Most people are friendly enough. They're not out to get you or to judge you. In fact, they'll probably enjoy talking to you and you to them.
    • Most people don't like initiating either. They'll open up if you make the first move. They're just as nervous as you are to put yourself out there.
    • People get cliquey. They stick to what they know and they don't like to deviate much. This is boring. Don't do it. You'll learn so much more from people who are different than you.
  3. Keep talking to everyone. Really. The more you talk to people the less scary it gets, the less you're concerned with what they think of you, the less you'll think about how great everyone is and the more you'll realize that most people are completely average. When no one else is a big deal, you have no reason to care so much about how you come off.
    • And the more you talk to people, the more you'll get down this socializing thing. It can be pretty intimidating, but won't be after 100 times of the exact same small talk you find over and over. Dunno how or where to start? Well, How to Be Extroverted, How to Be a Social Butterfly and How to Be Outgoing aren't terrible places.
  4. Compliment others. Remember that positivity thing we talked about a while back? Turns out people like that. Let them know you're pretty good at it by complimenting them. It's sort of like "giving is better than receiving." It feels great to have someone make you feel good, but it feels even better knowing you helped someone else feel good about themselves.
    • And accept compliments graciously, too. A simple "thank you" is the best way to do this. Don't hem and haw or make excuses when someone is nice to you. That's modest, sure, but it's not really kind to the other person. Imagine if they gave you a gift and you were all, "No, no, I don't deserve this; take it back." Terrible!
      • That being said, keep your compliments genuine. Don't say it if you don't mean it.
  5. Observe yourself and everyone around you. This is true for two reasons:
    • Observe yourself and others instead of judging. When you stop judging, the negativity stops. Your mind opens up and you can learn.
    • Observe yourself and others so you can learn. What makes others seem so confident? What makes you feel confident and not feel confident? What are your triggers and patterns?
  6. Find real role models. Having someone to inspire you and your confidence can be a great boost. Just make sure the person is real -- aiming to be like Kim Kardashian is not a good idea. You want a source of positivity you can tap into when you need it.
    • Along with a real role model or mentor, keep a positive crowd of people around you. Being with people who try to bring you down (inadvertently or not) or force you to be someone you're not will never make you happy and isn't worth it, regardless of how pretty or rich or smart or whatever they are.
  7. Be true to you. It's really hard to be confident when we're trying to be someone we're not. Not only do we have to remember to come off confident, but we have to remember who we're trying to be. Talk about exhausting. So cut out the middle man and just be you. So much easier.
    • You can't really be happy being something or someone you're not. You may see initial positivity from others around you (wearing clothes that make you fit in, etc.), but eventually that'll stop and you'll be left with what you think of you. So if there's a voice in you that's saying, "No thanks," listen to it. That's trust in yourself, that's doing your own thing -- that's confidence!

    More resources on developing Self Confidence are available by Clicking HERE

    Article source http://www.wikihow.com/Feel-Confident

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