How to Develop Self Esteem

Our self esteem is instilled in us during our youth. Being constantly criticized by family, friends, and society tends to slowly strip us of our feelings of self worth. Our low self esteem strips us of our self confidence to make even the smallest of decisions. Improving your self esteem increases your confidence and is a first step towards finding happiness and a better life. Read on to find out how!

Don't let the wedge of discouragemnet come between you and your dreams!

Bob Proctor recently quoted this old fable, but many versions exist dating back over many decades, perhaps centuries.

One day the devil was having a sale, hawking the many diabolical tools of the trade. On display, with their price tags attached, were all the devil's tools and weapons: The arrows of jealousy, the hammer of anger, the dagger of worry, the slingshot of doubt, the axe of hatred and numerous others.
But one tool stood out above them all. Displayed prominently on a pedestal high above the rest of his wares was showcased, "The Wedge of Discouragement."


Intrigued by this little tool, which was dented and worn with use, a curious shopper inquired about the price, because the wedge cost more than all the other tools combined.
"Ah yes," said the devil, "THAT is my favorite tool of all. You see, it's so easy to use. It hardly takes any effort. All I have to do is get the very tip of the wedge into my victim and the rest is easy. Once the wedge is in, I just tap it ever so slightly and it slides in deeper and deeper.
"Sometimes I don't have to do anything - my victims drive the wedge in deeper all by themselves! A small opening soon becomes a gaping crack, making room for the rest of my tools. Before you know it, my wedge has completely split a person's dreams, hopes and aspirations in two."
"That's why the wedge of discouragement commands such a high price - because it's my most effective tool. It has opened more doors for me than all my other tools combined."


He prized discouragement because of its enfeebling, demoralizing effect.  Anger, worry, doubt ot hatred may lead an immature person to act unwisely, to fight, or to run. But at least they act. Discouragement on the other hand, hurts the person more than any of these. It causes the person to sit down, pity himself or herself and do nothing.




Now this doesn't have to happen, but unfortunately it all too frequently does. Not until we realize that discouragement is often a form of self pity, do we begin to take stock of ourselves and our predicament and decide to act ... to do something that will take us out of the unpleasant situation.



Most of us have experienced discouragement at some time in our lives, some more than others.  But it can be defeated, often with the help of a loving partner, a supportive coach or mentor, or through reading about the challenges that others have overcome. As well as the love and support of others, and coming to love ourselves, we need to continuously develop the muscle of determination and the fuel of our vision, our great purpose and our reason to keeping on keeping on.  That way setbacks or criticisms are no more than temporary events, and in overcoming them we grow stronger, not weaker.

Chris Howard used to say "When tou meet an obstacle, get Excited!  It means that you are getting closer to your goal.  No goal, no obstacles, so get excited and overcome it!

To Success in all your ventures!

David

3 Ways To Build Self Confidence From Within

Learn How to Build Self Confidence HERE

Self confidence comes from within. But some places mentioned that you build self confidence from with-out. Example like learning a skill, achieving a goal, dressing well or changing your physical appearance. No doubt you will improve self confidence by these methods, but you don't get to address the cause of the lack of self confidence.
Since self confidence comes from within, you have to get to within to access it. In most books, you are asked to search outside to boost self confidence. Going outside to gain self confidence can create a gap. A gap that you won't be able to discover what's going on within you. You won't be able to find out the causes of your lack of self confidence. This way your self confidence is not built on solid foundation.
True self confidence comes from belief and mindset. You can be extremely skillful in some areas but lack self confidence. On the other hand, have you met someone who isn't particular masterful in any areas but are filled with self confidence?
This shows that self confidence may not have anything to do with achievements, skills or appearance. What really matter is your beliefs about yourself.
What can you do to increase self confidence from within?
Failure Is Not Failure
Start looking at failure differently. Do you get discourage when you are hit by failure? Do you get despair when things don't turn out the way you want it? We all do at one point of our life. That's because you look at failure as failure.

Why most "Goal Setting" sucks!

At this time of year most  New Year Resolutions are just a faded slightly guilty memory, and the same goes for many of the goals that we are encouraged to set.  "Be outrageous, grandiose, really stretch yourself"  the gurus exhort "If your goal doesn't scare you it's just not big enough!"

We repeat the goals in the present tense, we add to our vision board and repeat our affirmations with emotion, and we visualize living the life of our goals and dreams, but what is the result for most of us?

We end up feeling even more defeated, and what is even worse Guilty, because if we are not achieving our goals it must be our fault, right?

Wrong!

Goal setting is a skill and needs to be learned, and then practiced, refined, reviewed and improved.  The good news is that if your goal setting has all gone pear-shaped up to now you can learn that skill, understand how to practice and refine how you do it.  As you review and improve your goal setting and implementing you will start to actually achieve your goals within the time frame you set.

Goal setting is a process, not an event!

I have just been looking at Darren Hardy's "Living Your Best Year Ever".  This book and 4 CD set will become your most used book in your goal setting and achieving journey, not just because of what Darren has written but because of your own entries in the journal that is included.  This is no "comfort blanket" to carry around with you, in fact part of the purpose is to make you feel damned uncomfortable at times, to shift you off your butt and face up to reality.  Goal setting is often all too easy without any follow through.  Setting and actually achieving goals requires application and discipline, and I am reminded of the words of the late Jim Rohn "We all have the choice of two pains, the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.  The pain of discipline weighs ounces, the pain of regret weighs tons!"

This program will not achieve your goals for you, but it will give you a map, a process and more importantly encouragement and accountability. You will see and understand goal setting and achievement in a whole new light.

Achieving goals, like climbing a mountain, can be tough.  But the view from the top, and the joy of achievement is often even better than expected!  Make this your best year ever!

As you think, you shall become...,

The Magic of Thinking Big is the first book I ever read to do with aiming high, organising your life and living purposefully, and it is a testemant to the quality of the book that my copy is now an incomprehensible mess of highlighted passages, scribbled notes and scrawled realisations. I have read and re-read it many times and have committed it's principles to memory. Cliched as it is, I can say this book has changed my life immeasurably.

How to Actually Keep Your New Years Resolution

By Dr. Jeff Godin Ph.D., CSCS, CISSN and Tammy Godin, B.A.B. Seventy-eight percent of people fail at achieving their New Year’s resolution. Why? Is it because their goals are too lofty and will-power is crushed? Maybe they are in the contemplation stage of making a habit change and don’t know how to prepare and take action. Or is it because they are focused on the negative and not the positive aspects of their goal? Is it because they are extrinsically motivated, not intrinsically motivated, and when results don’t happen overnight they get frustrated?.
Some common New Year’s resolutions are, “I am going to lose weight,” “I am going to exercise more,” “I am going to learn a new language.” Regardless of the resolution, the key is to develop a SOLID PLAN.
Start by asking yourself the following questions:
1. What is my resolution?
2. What is holding me back now?
3. How will I accomplish my resolution?
4. How will I know when I get there, what are the acceptance criteria?

3 Simple Sure-fire Tips to Make 2013 Your Best Year Yet

Learn HERE how to make this your Best Year Yet, starting any day!

These tips may seem so simple, so ordinary that your first response may be to say something like  "Get real, tell me something ground-breaking and Earth-shattering that's really going to make a difference!"

And then when I tell you that each of these three tips has been backed by neuroscience research to show that they make a positive difference to how your brain works, and lead to improvements in happiness, self esteem and confidence you may still not believe that they can really make a difference. We do not have time or space here to go over the research but if you are interested go to the PraxisNow web site and look at the posts of Mark Waldman whose work I freely acknowledge as the inspiration for this post.

So what are these three tips?