Be an Optimist at All Times

Learn How to be an Optimist by clicking HERE!

Everyone wants to be physically healthy. You want to be mentally healthy as well. Think about it. Don’t you? The true measure of “mental fitness” is how optimistic you are about yourself and your life. In this newsletter, you learn how to control your thinking in very specific ways so that you feel terrific about yourself and your situation, no matter what happens.

Control Your Reactions and Responses

There are three basic differences in the reactions of optimists and pessimists. The first difference is that the optimist sees a setback as temporary, while the pessimist sees it as permanent.

The Confidence Gap

A wonderful book.

By 

Ronald Spiers 

The confidence gap is a brilliant new book by Dr. Russ Harris that in my opinion has really hit the nail on the head with how true confidence works and can be achieved. It explains clearly how with a little hard work and perseverance we can learn to understand ourselves better and achieve things we were previously terrified of. 

Everything Counts - The Law of Accumulation

One of the greatest success principles of all is called the Law of Accumulation. This law says that everything great and worthwhile in human life is an accumulation of hundreds and sometimes thousands of tiny efforts and sacrifices that nobody ever sees or appreciates.

This law says that everything accumulates over time and that you have to put in many, many, many tiny efforts that nobody sees or appreciates before you achieve anything worthwhile. It's like a snowball. A snowball starts very small, but it grows as it adds millions and millions of tiny snowflakes and continues to grow as it gathers momentum.

Learn What You Need to Learn

There are three areas where the law of accumulation is important. The first is in the area of knowledge. Your body of knowledge is a result of hundreds, perhaps thousands, of small pieces of information.

Positive self talk can help you win the race--or the day

Manage your mental chatter, before it manages you

Published by Polly Campbell

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What are your inner voices saying? You know, the ones. Some days they sound like the paternal Obi-Wan Kenobi booming: "You Can Do It." Other days the self talk takes on the tone of a whiny child: "I can't. It's too hard. I'm not good enough."

No matter which tone they take, those inner voices talk incessantly. And we should be paying attention, because what we say to ourselves has a direct impact on our success - or failure. Plenty of research indicates positive self talk creates positive results. Now an analysis of 32 different studies of self talk in sports, indicates that the specific words we use when talking to ourselves also play a role in how well we perform.

Positive self talk usually consists of words or brief phrases which inspire, motivate, or remind us to focus and keep moving. Phrases like, "Keep your head down," "Let's go now," "Breathe," help us focus our attention and trigger the ideal (hopefully) response and action for the task at hand.

Assertiveness and Self-confidence

How to help build, boost, and develop self-confidence and assertiveness

Building self-confidence and assertiveness is probably a lot easier than you think. 'Non-assertive' people (in other words 'normal people') do not generally want to transform into being excessively dominant people. When most people talk about wanting to be more assertive, what they usually really mean is:

• 'How can I become more able to resist the pressure and dominance of excessively dominant people?'
• 'How can I stand up to bullies (or one bully in particular)?'
• And also, 'How can I exert a little more control in situations that are important to me?'

9 Ways to Cope When Bad Things Happen

By Celestine Chua

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown
Have you ever experienced times when you go through just one bad thing after another? When it seems like the world is out to get you? When things go wrong no matter what you do?
You are not alone. Bad things happen to all of us too, including me. I experienced a small set back recently which I want to share with you.

Anyone Can Do It: My Story - by Duncan Bannatyne

After reading this, you really believe you can do it!,

By 

Tony Gough

This review is from: Anyone Can Do It: My Story 

If like me you are an avid viewer of `The Dragons Den', you will have already had a glimpse of the personality of Duncan Bannatyne. From the inability to hide a mischievous grin when faced with a weird and wonderful contestant or idea (and in some cases both!), to getting seriously involved in negotiations on an idea he thinks could work, you get a hint as to why he is successful, he enjoys what he does and he seems to enjoy life.

4 Steps to Deal with Disappointment

4 Steps to Deal with Disappointment

By Raeeka

“Don’t let today’s disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow’s dreams.” ~Unknown
For me, disappointment is one of life’s most uncomfortable feelings. It’s complex, containing a subset of other emotions like anger, hurt, sadness, and probably many others too subtle to identify.
Sometimes, those emotions by themselves are easier to deal with, but disappointment can leave me at a loose end.
I might not be sure whether I should feel angry, or just impatiently wish that I would hurry up and get over it. Disappointment can hover at the front of your mind and niggle at the back, bringing you a grey perspective on life, even if you’re trying to forget about it.
Here are 4 steps I’ve recently identified in my own process for genuinely getting past disappointment:

How to Develop Self Esteem

Work on Improving Yourself

1. 1
   Dress nicely. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don't look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. This doesn't mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is “spend twice as much, buy half as much”. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. Expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes. Find things that you like and in return, you will like the way you look.
   
   

The Gratitude Effect - How to Become a Better Person

Learn How to Develop the Attitude of Gratitude HERE

By Craig Ballantyne

There I was, sitting at my kitchen table, and suffering from severe writer's block. I had no idea what to say. The clean, white pages of my first moleskin notebook were too clean to spoil with any old random thought.

You might feel the same way when you first open this book. Stumped about what to write. But trust me, not only will the feelings of gratitude, thanks, and appreciation for who and what you have in life soon flow freely, but this (seemingly) small daily ritual will have a big, positive impact on your life.

It did for me.

After I first heard my friend Vishen Lakiani, the entrepreneur behind MindValley.com, discuss the idea of a gratitude log years ago I immediately began attempting my own version.

Super Confidence: Simple Steps to Build Self-Assurance

By

consultesh

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is one book that every women should read. The content is easy to read and hard to put down. The author recommends reading each chapter and digesting the information then trying out her exercises before moving onto the next chapter.

 I know it's easy to think that after reading one scenario that we are familiar with we don't need to try out the recommendations, but I think it's worthwhile doing them. Anyone who is uncertain about where their future is going should read this book.

 We live in a world where bullying is second nature to a lot of people and the guidance given in this book is mind-blowing. Even if you feel that you are already a confident person this book is a worthwhile read because confident people don't always realise that sometimes they are in fact over-confident and this can be a really negative quality in a person. Happy reading.

 http://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R19D0XYUHOQHWT/ref=cm_cr_pr_viewpnt#R19D0XYUHOQHWT

Self-Esteem: The Repair Kit

By Janine Latus

I started with books. First I tried the intellectual ones that delved into the female psyche and our traditional/historical role in society. They didn't help. I was already much too cerebral and could understand the heck out of this problem without doing diddly for my self-esteem.

Then there were the perky self-help books that told me all I had to do was open my mind to the beauty inside. That message was all well and good—except I knew what was inside, and it was inadequate. I was sure I had to be perfect to be loved.

The books kept me in my head, but my problem was deep in my gut, and hard to reach. I had done therapy, talk talk talking about this inner chasm, yet there it stayed, needy, gaping. Then I met Kim Forbes, a psychotherapist in Virginia Beach.

The 5 Minute Exercise That Can Change Your Life

By Phil Drolet

“Who will you have to become, to achieve all you want?” – Tony Robbins

Learn how to get Motivation and Inspiration HERE

Have you ever stopped to think about it? Do you have a clear vision of who you really want to be in this world?
I wasn’t sure either. I mean, I knew I wanted to be a good person and do big things,  but that was about it…
Then I was extremely fortunate to come across Brian Johnson’s Optimal Living 101 course (best class I ever took). During the class, we did a lot of amazing exercises, but perhaps the most powerful was the “Eulogy Exercise”.
In the 5 minutes it took me to do the exercise, I went from having a vague idea of who I wanted to become, to a clear picture of my “best self”. And an action plan on how I could start becoming more like it.

This exercise can be very powerful, so I sincerely hope you take 5 minutes time to do it. It could change your life.

Another Gift from Brian Tracy - Future Based Thinking

My good friend Brian Tracy is one person whose name I am always excited to see in my in-box!  Over the years I have come to value his insights and been inspired by his messages, so when I watched this brief video I knew I had to share it with you.

In this free video Brian reveals the ONE question you should be asking yourself if you’re serious about getting on the fast track to success.

 Watch it here.

This one is a humdinger, so simple,yet so profound.

If you want your life to be better, however you define or desire that,

 Watch it here and then do the brief exercise to get your Future Based Thinking on fire!

Manage Your Time or Others Will Do It for You

 Click HERE to learn Awesome Time Management Skills

by Harvey Mackay

I’ll never forget an important time management lesson I learned in a seminar many years ago… especially how the instructor illustrated the point.

“Okay, time for a quiz,” he said, as he pulled out a one-gallon wide-mouthed mason jar and set it on the desk in front of him. Then he produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar.

When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, “Is the jar full?”

Everyone in the seminar said, “Yes.”

Then he said, “Really?”

The Kim Kardashian Effect - Why Being Overly Confident Pays Off

We all know one in the office. She waltzes in to the staff meeting, seemingly unperturbed about arriving several minutes late.  With her stately gait and regal posture, you’d think she was the Queen of Sheba. And yet again – by the end of the meeting, she has the CEO mesmerized – even though you’d end up doing just as hard work and she’ll garner all the praise and that prized promotion.
How does she do it?

According to psychologists at the University of Berkley in California, those who are overly confident and masters at self-promotion tend to trump those who simply get by on hard work alone. This means they are often promoted over those who may be more competent than themselves, as their bosses mistake their confidence for real talent.

But here’s the caveat. Whilst being overly confident can get you ahead, you do need to back it up. Case in point: the current star of reality television, Kim Kardashian who has amassed a multi-million dollar fortune simply by having no shame in her game. While she may be gifted in the art of self-promotion, her success is further solidified by hard graft.

Finding the Confidence to Win

Andy Murray recently overcame a career of near misses to win the U.S. Open, and a lot has been made of the mindset he needed to do it. Prior to his U.S. Open championship, Murray lost in four major tournament finals without a single win. His talent has never been in question, but his ability to embrace championship pressure was suspect. While the biggest predictor of confidence is previous achievement, how do you attack a problem confidently when you’ve continually failed in the past?  This belief in unproven possibility is fundamental to turning failure into triumph, and Murray’s journey offers precious insights.

How To Be The Most Confident Person In The World

 “Hi, how do you keep enough belief in yourself to be self-confident? Sometimes I find myself filled with so much self-doubt that it becomes crippling.” – Mike

Today I will be covering the topic of self confidence, triggered by the above question a reader sent me earlier this month. I thought that this will be a topic that will be very beneficial to everyone since building self confidence is a goal which many people have.

Are You Self-Confident?

Self-confidence refers to assuredness in your own worth, abilities and power, regardless of the situation you are in. Someone who is self confident has a strong sense of belief and certainty in himself/herself. He/she exudes calmness, composure and is self-aware.
Self-confidence is often linked with possessing of certain knowledge, skillsets or abilities, whether it is acquired or innate. While having aptitude in a particular area can help bolster your self-worth, it is not a necessary prerequisite for self confidence. Someone with absolutely no competency in something can still be self-confident. We will discuss this in detail in the later half of the article.

12 Things That Make Men Rich - by Napoleon Hill

The author of the classic book "Think and Grow Rich" recorded this brief video listing the 12 things that create richness, or wealth.

Warning, they are not what you think they are , nor in the order that you think they might be in.

Click here to see the surprising components of wealth

and then if you have not yet read "Think and Grow Rich" get your hands on a copy and read, or re-read it until your thinking becomes retrained along the lines of wealth and success.

Clue: Wealth is not all about money! 

Comment below, and sign up for our 4 part e-book series on creating your own confidence and wealth.

How to meditate: An introduction

Mindfulness meditation' – getting to know the here and now – could be the key to a calmer, happier, healthier you. Mark Vernon reveals what's involved.

How to meditate: Mastering your inner maelstrom. Illustration: Cristina Guitian

 

Rates of depression and anxiety are rising in the modern world. Andrew Oswald, a professor at Warwick University who studies wellbeing, recently told me that mental health indicators nearly always point down. "Things are not going completely well in western society," he said. Proposed remedies are numerous. And one that is garnering growing attention is meditation, and mindfulness meditation in particular.

Being Present

By Sandra Abell

I have lots of things going in my life, and at times they become a jumble and I have trouble sorting them out in my mind. The result is that I often end up feeling overwhelmed and not knowing which to tackle first. When this happens I realize that I’m so into my head and out of my body that I’m not at all in touch with the ‘now’.

So, this month I’m reflecting on what I call “being present”. ‘Being present’ means that I focus on what I’m doing/feeling right now. Not on what I did yesterday or will do tomorrow, but right now. Amazingly, when I do this for at least 10 minutes, it clears my brain, relaxes my body and I’m once again able to concentrate.

There is something very calming and peaceful about being ‘in the now’. Stopping everything and becoming aware of what my body is doing. Is my breathing deep or shallow, where are my muscles tense, am I warm or cold, etc.?

Believe It’s Possible

by Vic Johnson

"Belief is the basis of all action, and, this being so, the belief that dominates the hearts or mind is shown in the life." –Above Life's Turmoil

You will rarely attempt something you don't believe possible and you will 'never' give 100 percent of your ability to something you don't believe in.

Some years ago I was listening to a friend speaking to a business audience. She quoted a teaching by David Schwartz from The Magic of Thinking Big that rocked my life. She said, "The size of your success is determined by the size of your belief." Now that was the first personal development book I ever read and I've read it at least 20 times since. I'm sure that I had heard that concept many times before that night. But it impacted me so much that I wrote it down and must have looked at it a hundred times or more in the thirty days after that.

Confidence is Knowing and Going

“The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.” — Sven Goran Eriksson

What is confidence?  This is a great question to ask because confidence is a precursor to getting results.
When one of my mentees asked me how to improve their confidence, I realized I needed to get a better handle on what exactly it is.  It’s one thing to have it,  another to know how to help others cultivate it.
In my experience, confidence comes from having a belief that you’ll figure it out or find a way. The pitfall is to base your confidence only on your competence.  The problem is that you don’t yet have competence in new areas. I think the most powerful vehicle for confidence comes from within, when it’s a mission or a vision that compels you to march on no matter what. 
In Overachievement: The New Model for Exceptional Performance, John Eliot, Ph. D. writes about what confidence is and what confidence is not.

Key Take Aways

Here are my key take aways:

• Confidence is knowing and going.   Use your mission or vision to build your confidence

Self-Confidence And The Ten Day Triumphs Exercise

Your last ten days holds the key to unlocking all the self-confidence you could want.
To living with pride and satisfaction and feeling great about who you are.
Yeah I know, you probably think I’m nuts or on something.
Ok hear me out, because below I will explain why plus also let you into the secret exercise I use with clients that helps them re-discover there inner self-belief through simply scanning their most recent diary or re-calling a few weeks events.
Are you ready to get some confidence back?
Ace, let’s go for it!

Confidence begins

Confident people know what they are good at. They have a true idea of their talents and abilities, but also, crucially, they can view their efforts and see them as competent and valuable even if they’re not earth shattering or world record breaking.
They are self-aware.
For you this confidence begins in being aware that you make a difference everywhere you go and in everything you do and say. The key word being ‘every’.
Every thing you are touches others and has an effect every single time!

Five Keys to Gaining Absolute Self-Confidence

By Robert Choat

True self-confidence comes from belief in oneself and through action that proves the belief. Today, based on what I've found out about self-confidence, I am able to do things that at one time I didn't think I would ever do or could do. Now I feel like I can conquer the world! Let me take to you back to my childhood and give you an insight into the "old me."

When I was a child, both my father and my teachers thought I was "dumb and stupid." In their minds they thought that I was mentally retarded and an IQ test "proved to them" that I was. Though, such tests do not take into account stress from outside factors that contribute to a lower score. And when you add in the fact that I stuttered, it only made my so-called "dumbness" worse and led to my self-confidence to drop even further at that time.

And yet, doing things that proved otherwise was key for me getting to a higher level of confidence.

Professionals compete with - themselves.

Professionals

Watching any professional perform is one of the most satisfying experiences in life.  It makes no difference what the professional is doing; they fascinate you with their skill and precision.
Years ago I was employed by the Fire Department.  I had a captain, Harry Taylor - we called him Scotty.  I suppose by today's standards he would not be considered very professional. Scotty never attended the fire college, but by my standards he will always be a professional.
Some of the other officers who did attend the fire college and left with high marks had no idea of how to lead people. Scotty was a leader; he knew how to draw the best out of his people. He was a pro.

Four Good Times of Day to Meditate (And One to Avoid)

Meditation and Confidence?  Do they go together? 

Sure do! - Read on.....

When is the best time of day to meditate? According to two experts, the answer depends on what you hope to get out of it.
Research has shown that meditation has many mental and physical health benefits. Among other things, it may help reduce stress, enhance concentration, improve sleep, manage pain, and lower blood pressure. Daily meditation practice is ideal for reaping these rewards. In addition, brief mini-meditations can be done as needed throughout the day whenever you want to calm your mind and relax your body.

From combatting anxiety to reducing physical pain, meditation has a host of mind-body benefits.

Recently, I had the opportunity to ask two experts for their advice about when to meditate—and when not to. They agreed that the best time varies from person to person, depending on schedule and needs. But below are their recommendations for some good times to consider.

The Secret to Instant Self-Confidence

By Henri Junttila

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” ~Dalai Lama
Self-confidence is an interesting concept.
You see, we all have ways of feeling good, bad, low, light, and peaceful. We all have triggers that tell us when to experience these states.
The really interesting part is that you can challenge how you respond to those triggers and change the strategies you use.
There have been countless times in my life where I haven’t felt absolutely confident.
For example, I used to be very shy around people. I just didn’t believe I had anything to say, so I used to freeze. I was afraid of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong people.
It felt safer to be quiet, but after awhile it got really boring—and when someone is really bored, they’re often in fear because they’ve put so many restrictions on themselves.
What helped me work through the fear and start being me was tapping into a feeling of confidence, or sometimes just another positive feeling.

Build confidence instantly - an audio gift from Brian Tracy

Dear Friend,
Did you know that the greatest obstacle to success in adult life is the fear of failure?
Taken to its extreme, we become totally pre-occupied with not making a mistake and seeking security above all other considerations.
The experience of the fear of failure is in the words of “I can’t.” We feel it in the front of the body, starting at the solar plexus and moving up to the rapid beating of the heart, rapid breathing and a tight throat.
The second major fear that interferes with performance is the fear of rejection. We learn this when our parents make their love conditional upon our behavior. If we do what pleases them, they give us love and approval. If we do something they don’t like, they withdraw their love and approval-which we interpret as rejection.
I’ve created a special gift for you to help you build unshakeable self-esteem, overcome fear, and achieve everything you’ve ever dreamt of with confidence.
But first, I want to share with you why certain people behave in certain ways.

Self-Confidence: 7 Lies You Need to Stop Telling Yourself

By Farnoosh Brock

“Be honest with yourself, and you will find the motivation to do what you advise others to do.” ~Vince Poscente
What if you could only tell—and more importantly, only believe—the truth? Not the half-truth, the white lies, or the other grey in between, but the pure, beautiful, and unadulterated truth.
If I had to pick one super power, it would be to know the liars from the truth-tellers. I would walk around in public places, eavesdrop on conversations, and know immediately if someone is lying or being honest.
I would go to social events and exercise my super power by posing my burning questions to friends and strangers alike. I would sit in the courtrooms of the world, and know instantly if the victim is lying or telling the truth. How fascinating, how disconcerting, how shocking it would all be!
Most of all, though, I would use my super power to listen to the voices that I hear in my own head, from the loud inner critic, the large ego full of opinions, and the years of social conditioning and upbringing; and I would be able to tell, without a shadow of a doubt, the lies from the truths. Oh yes!
I grew up in Tehran, and witnessed not only the horrible 1979 Iranian revolution but also the terrible war that ensued between Iran and Iraq. Even though I was very small, I remember the horror, the bombings, the sirens, and the oppression.
Mostly, I remember the way our teachers would brainwash our small little minds and fill it with the new regime’s lies. I remember that our families needed to play it safe while still helping us draw some faint distinction between those lies and the truth.
I moved to America when I was 15 years old, and today, even though I know the difference between a lie and the beautiful truth, some days the inner critic returns and insists on the lie.
But I don’t think I am alone. We tell ourselves lies, half-truths, and anything but the pure truth every day.

What Is Self Esteem and How Do I Get It?

Self Esteem

You can't touch it, but it affects how you feel. You can't see it but it's there when you look at yourself in the mirror. You can't hear it, but it's there every time you talk about yourself. Self esteem is how much you value yourself and how important you think you are. It's knowing you are worthy of love and respect and accepting your limitations and boundaries. It's how you see yourself and how you feel about your achievements.

Why Is Self Esteem So Important?

Good self esteem is important because it helps you to hold your head high and feel proud of yourself and what you can do. It gives you the courage to try new things and the power to believe in yourself. It lets you respect yourself, even when you make mistakes, and when you respect yourself, other peope usually respect you too. It also helps you to make good choices about your mind and body. If you think you are important, you'll be more likely to make good choices.

Are You an Optimist or a Pessimist?

Develop Powerful Optimism HERE!

by Chris Widener
I have been giving some thought lately to optimism and pessimism. Basically, these are attitudes. Attitudes that shape and formulate our entire existence. I mean, have you ever met a happy pessimist? Of course not.

•  In short, our optimism or pessimism is this:
•  The way we interpret the past
•  The way we experience and view the present
• The way we imagine the future

Have you given much thought about how your attitude, whether you are an optimist or a pessimist, affects your business, organization or school? Have you thought` about how it affects you personally? And what about the team you are a part of?

20 Foods to Give You Energy

Almonds, salmon, blueberries and 17 more foods that will make you more alert, energetic and ready to take on the world.
It’s three in the afternoon, your energy is flagging and all you want to do is take a nap, but instead you have to sit through a boring meeting. While you could just have a second – or seventh – cup of coffee, you could also have some pumpkin seeds, an apple, a few red bell pepper slices with hummus or a piece of dark chocolate. These 20 foods can help relieve fatigue, sharpen your focus and give you the jolt of energy that you need to avoid falling asleep at your desk.

How to Build Self Confidence: 6 Essential and Timeless Tips

“Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the face.”
Helen Keller

“Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy.”
Brian Tracy

“Confidence is courage at ease.”
Daniel Maher

I believe that one of the most common wishes is simply to feel more confident in various situations in life.
But how?
Confident friends may say: “Well, just be confident, man!”. However, to a person that doesn’t feel that confident this piece of advice may not be very helpful. At all.
There are however some time-tested and timeless advice. And in this article I’ll explore some of those tips.
Now, I hope you will find something useful in this article to help you improve and maintain your own levels of confidence.
1. Take action. Get it done.

“Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.” Thomas A. Bennett

8 Ways to Be More Confident: Live the Life of Your Dreams

By Lori Deschene

 
“With realization of one’s own potential & self confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.” ~Dalai Lama
For the vast majority of my life I didn’t believe I could do most of the things I wanted to do.
I knew I wanted to be in a relationship, but I feared that if I got into one I’d do something to mess it up.
I wanted to perform on Broadway, but even moving to New York City didn’t give me the courage to audition.
I wanted to be a writer, but I thought it was far too difficult to get published, and therefore didn’t even try until I turned 27.
Maybe you’ve never been as unsure of yourself as I used to be, but you can likely relate to that feeling of wanting to do something but feeling terrified to start. This not only limits your potential in life; it also minimizes your ability to make a positive impact on the world around you.
There’s a lot that goes into overcoming those fears. You may need to challenge limiting beliefs formed years ago, or take yourself out of a situation where other people undermine your abilities. One thing that will definitely help is working on your confidence.
Not sure if confidence can be learned? I asked this question on the Tiny Buddha Facebook page to see what readers had to say and then used some of their responses to shape these 8 steps outlined below:

Assumptions that Continue to Influence Self-Confidence

In response to external influences, people develop assumptions; some of these are constructive and some are harmful. Several assumptions that can interfere with self-confidence and alternative ways of thinking are:
Assumption: “I must always have love or approval from every significant person in my life.”
Alternative: This is a perfectionistic, unattainable goal. It is more realistic and desirable to develop personal standards and values that are not completely dependent on the approval of others.
Assumption: “I must be thoroughly competent, adequate, and achieving in all important areas of my life.”
Alternative: This again is a perfectionistic, unattainable goal and suggests that personal worth is determined by achievement. Achievement can be satisfying but does not make you more worthy. Instead, worth is an inherent quality and all people possess it.
Assumption: “My past remains all important and control my feelings and behaviors in the present.”
Alternative: While it is true that your confidence was especially vulnerable to external influences during your childhood, as you grow older you can gain awareness and perspective on what those influences have been. In doing so, you can choose which influences you will continue to allow to have an effect on your life. You don’t have to be helpless in the face of past events.

Strategies for Developing Confidence

Seven Strategies for Wealth and Happiness - By Jim Rohn

Brilliant ! A must read for the budding entrepreneur.
A tremendous book on success principles written in 'layman's' terms. It is full of great quotes like, "rarely will your income exceed your personal development", and "don't send your ducks to eagle school - all you will get is unhappy ducks!" Jim Rohn is able to get across that success is not for the chosen few, but for anyone that is prepared to follow some simple principles - principles that are portrayed in an uncomplicated form in this gem of a book. A must read for anyone that wants to get ahead in life.
Find out more here.

Assertiveness and Self-confidence

How to help build, boost, and develop self-confidence and assertiveness

Building self-confidence and assertiveness is probably a lot easier than you think. 'Non-assertive' people (in other words 'normal people') do not generally want to transform into being excessively dominant people. When most people talk about wanting to be more assertive, what they usually really mean is:

• 'How can I become more able to resist the pressure and dominance of excessively dominant people?'
• 'How can I stand up to bullies (or one bully in particular)?'
• And also, 'How can I exert a little more control in situations that are important to me?'

Pure assertiveness - dominance for the sake of being dominant - is not a natural behaviour for most people.

The Subtlety of Language

I have found that sometimes the subtle difference in our attitude, which of course can make a major difference in our future, can be as simple as the language we use. The difference in even how you talk to yourself or others. Consciously making a decision to quit saying what you don't want and to start saying what you do want. I call that faith. Believing the best, hoping for the best and moving toward the best.

A few examples could be, instead of saying “What if somebody doesn't respond?” you start saying, “What if they do respond?” Instead of saying “What if someone says no?” you say “What if they say yes?” Instead of ‘What if they start and quit?” you say ‘What if they start and stay?” Or instead of “What if it doesn't work out?” you say “What if it does work out?” And the list goes on and on.

The Impact System, By Stephan Longworth - "Inspirational!"

Stephan Longworth is an inspirational character who has a remarkable enthusiasm for what he does - network marketing.
Along his journey, he has clearly been influenced by some great motivational speakers (Kalench, Kiyosaki,Rohn) and in the book he has distilled much of this wisdom putting very much his own twist on it.

The first half of the book is "getting your head right" and here the focus is very much on self-belief, positive thinking, perseverance and determination. He leaves the reader in no doubt that the only thing between them and great success is...them.

Easily said, for sure. But this doesn't make it any less truthful. Certainly, this half of the book is good advice for anybody setting out on a significant challenge in their lives - the advice and guidance is all easily transferable.

The remainder of the book concentrates on the process of developing an effective programme which is easily duplicated, the cornerstone of success in network marketing. Who can argue against it as it's been put together by one of the most successful network marketers in the country. So many authors of "self-improvement" and "motivational" books are theorists. What Mr Longworth has on his side is that he doesn't just "talk the talk", he's also very much "walked the walk", something which lends the book instant credibility.

I bought this as I'm very much in the foothills, and was looking for inspiration and guidance from somebody who has had success in this business. This book has it, in spades! 

Role of self confidence for success in life

What is the role of self confidence in life?

How can self confidence help a person become successful in life?  While I don't want to sound like someone who wants to hype the importance of self confidence still I can't prevent myself from saying that self confidence is the most important requirement for success in life.
While self confidence won't always guarantee that you will succeed in life still a confident person will have at least 10 times the chance of success of a person who lacks confidence.
In this article I will tell you about the role of self confidence for success in life.

Role of self confidence in success

Here is how self confidence affects your ability to succeed:

• We get what we focus on: If someone believed that he is not worthy he will fear to take risks, he wont achieve anything and as a result he will fulfill the prophecy!! One important role for self confidence in life is that it prevents the person from fulfilling such false prophecies and so allows him to succeed. (see How limiting beliefs affect your life)
• Success, the number of tries and self confidence: In my article how to become successful in life i explained how success usually happens after a certain number of tries. The role of self confidence in success is that it encourages you to keep trying until you get what you want. People who lack self confidence stop trying after one or few failures and that's why they don't succeed in life
• Success and believing in yourself: Do you know how to make people believe in you? Its all about believing in yourself in such a way that you become confident enough to shake their existing beliefs about you if they were negative. Another important role of self confidence in success is that it allows you to believe in yourself and as a result other people believe in you
• Self confidence, depression and success: Confident people can get depressed too but lack of self confidence can result in depression and so reduces the chance of success in life!! In the Solid Self confidence program I said that One extremely important role for self confidence for success in life is that it can prevent depression. Depression happens when you lose hope in reaching your important goals and so if you were confident enough that you are going to reach them then you won't get depressed
• Self confidence and rejection: Another important role for self confidence in success is that it prevents the person from giving up after experiencing rejections. Almost all successful people were rejected in a way or another before they managed to succeed. Had they lacked self confidence they might have stopped before they reached success (see Insprirational stories of success)

The important role of self confidence in success. 
 
It's now clear from the previous examples that even though self confidence is not the only factor required for success still it has an extremely important role in letting you achieve success in life.
There is nothing you can do to yourself better than building self confidence if you are serious about succeeding in life.
http://www.2knowmyself.com/Role_of_self_confidence_for_success_in_life

Is This The Worst You Tube Debut Ever?

Last night (or rather early this morning) I made my first ever video and posted it on You Tube.  It is awful!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUBe05Ys0j8

So why am I sharing this with you?

You see I have been putting this off for longer than I care to admit.  I KNOW that video is the future of blogging, and in fact the rest of the internet and social media, but I would keep giving myself good reasons why I was not starting to do it.  I did not have the right camera, the lighting was bad, I needed to have a trusted and skilled assistant to hold the camera and start and stop it in the right time, and I needed to get video editing  software and learn how to use it.....You get the idea.

Anyway last night while doing something else I saw a headline on upoading videos to You Tube so I decided to bite the bullet and go for it.  After all, I would delete it straight away if it was awful, right?

So about 1.00 am in my home office with just the webcam in my laptop and a desk lamp I shot my first, stumbling video.  I had not even changed my crumpled shirt, I stumbed over my words, and I was relieved as hell to press the "stop recording" tab!  Phew, it was done.  I allowed my wife to see it and emailed the link to my daughter (who is my business partner) warning her not to fall off her chair laughing and hurt herself.  I went to bed knowing that I would take it downfirst thing in the morning.

But in the morning I thought, hang on, isn't confidence about being OK about having a go, about not getting it perfect or even half right the first time, and about admitting our mistakes and having th courage to laugh at ourselves and admit that we still have a lot to learn?

So dear friends here it is, warts and all, but if it encourages anyone else to have a go: Start a new business, learn a new skill, try for a new job, pick up the phone and make a challenging call, or anything else that they have been putting off for too long, it will have been worth it.

Stuck into the top of the fax machine in my home office is the following quotaton, sent to me by Bob Proctor:

"Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire and begin at once, whether you're ready or not, to put this plan into action." (Napoleon Hill)

Whatever your dream, your desire, create a plan and go for it, ready or not!

How to Let Go of Limitations? Here Are 4 Steps to Help You Get Started

Have you ever made a decision to make a change in your life? Then came up with a plan on how to implement it, made a start and within a couple of hours or days you were right back in the same old behavior? A little more frustrated and discouraged, and wondering why it's so hard to change? Learning how to let go of the limiting beliefs and behaviors that block our attempts at positive change is a process that requires due diligence.

If you've ever tried and failed to make changes in your behavior you'll know that consciously directing your willpower alone is ineffective most of the time. For change to be effective and long-term, it has to happen with the cooperation of the subconscious mind where our ingrained beliefs, blocks and barriers reside. After all, your mind with all its negative thoughts, excuses and poor decisions is what created this mess in the first place!
Letting go of limitations requires a deeper level of investigation and correction as outlined in the following four steps:

Key to career success is confidence, not talent

The secret to career success is not talent, hard work or education, but sheer, unashamed confidence, a study has suggested.

By Hannah Furness

Although workers with big egos will often perform poorly and make more mistakes, their colleagues consistently fail to spot their errors and continue to believed they are “terrific” or “beloved”. Their personality means they are often promoted over those who are more competent, as colleagues mistake their confidence for talent.

A study of more than 500 students, academics and workers, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, showed that those who appeared more confident achieved a higher social status than their peers.  Within a work environment, higher-status individuals tended to be more admired, listened to, and had more sway over group decisions. 

Prof Cameron Anderson of the University of California, who led the research, said that, as a result, “incompetent people are often promoted over their more competent peers”. He said those who were overconfident often sought power, fame or success and that overconfidence was encouraged by the prospect of increased social status, respect and esteem.

“Our studies found overconfidence helped people attain social status,” he said. “Those who believed they were better than others, even when they weren’t, were given a higher place in the social ladder, and the motivation to attain higher social status therefore triggered overconfidence.” The researchers found that many of their subjects believed sincerely that they were more physically talented, socially adept and skilled at their jobs than reality reflected. In one study, 94 per cent of college professors were found to believe that their work was above average.

Heaven, or Hell? It's a matter of attitude!

I am grateful to my former foster Son Richard Sheldrake for this story.  How are you Richard?  we lost touch a bit but with the opportuirues of the internet we should soon be back in contact.

So, the story....

A great Chinese sage was granted a vision of Hell, and Heaven. (This seems culturally dissonant, but bear with me!)  In the first vision, of Hell, he was taken into a banqueting hall where there were tables laden with dishes of the most rare and delicious food, their appetizing aromas filling the hall with mouthwatering scents.

Around the table were the damned, unable to taste the delicious banquet because they were provided only with chopsticks 9 feet long!  Unable to feast on the delicious food they were condemned to eternal hunger and frustration with their sustenance and reward eternally out of reach.

Full of sorrow and pity for the fate of the eternally condemned the sage was led from this sad place t another hall, where again he was surprised to see tables laden with dishes of the most rare and delicious food, their appetizing aromas filling the hall with mouthwatering scents.  As before, the diners were provided only with chopsticks 9 feet long, but in contrast to the first hall this was filled with laughter and merriment as everyone enjoyed the wonderful food provided for their sustenance and delight. 

They were feeding each other!

Who have you fed. or helped, today?


 

365 Steps to Self-confidence:A complete programme for personal transformation

Confidence is not something you can have instantly, or without effort, but this book by David Lawrence Preston takes you by the hand and in just a ew minutes a day builds your confidence for any situation. This essentially practical book will enable you to

• Feel good all the time
• Lrarn to love yourself
• be confident with the oppsite sex
• handle job interviews
• cope with rejection
• have the courage to take a step change - like start your own business, or
• advance your career

If you need more confidence, or know somebody else whose confedence is low then you can do yourself or them a favour and get this book!

How to Develop Self Esteem

Our self esteem is instilled in us during our youth. Being constantly criticized by family, friends, and society tends to slowly strip us of our feelings of self worth. Our low self esteem strips us of our self confidence to make even the smallest of decisions. Improving your self esteem increases your confidence and is a first step towards finding happiness and a better life. Read on to find out how!

Don't let the wedge of discouragemnet come between you and your dreams!

Bob Proctor recently quoted this old fable, but many versions exist dating back over many decades, perhaps centuries.

One day the devil was having a sale, hawking the many diabolical tools of the trade. On display, with their price tags attached, were all the devil's tools and weapons: The arrows of jealousy, the hammer of anger, the dagger of worry, the slingshot of doubt, the axe of hatred and numerous others.
But one tool stood out above them all. Displayed prominently on a pedestal high above the rest of his wares was showcased, "The Wedge of Discouragement."


Intrigued by this little tool, which was dented and worn with use, a curious shopper inquired about the price, because the wedge cost more than all the other tools combined.
"Ah yes," said the devil, "THAT is my favorite tool of all. You see, it's so easy to use. It hardly takes any effort. All I have to do is get the very tip of the wedge into my victim and the rest is easy. Once the wedge is in, I just tap it ever so slightly and it slides in deeper and deeper.
"Sometimes I don't have to do anything - my victims drive the wedge in deeper all by themselves! A small opening soon becomes a gaping crack, making room for the rest of my tools. Before you know it, my wedge has completely split a person's dreams, hopes and aspirations in two."
"That's why the wedge of discouragement commands such a high price - because it's my most effective tool. It has opened more doors for me than all my other tools combined."


He prized discouragement because of its enfeebling, demoralizing effect.  Anger, worry, doubt ot hatred may lead an immature person to act unwisely, to fight, or to run. But at least they act. Discouragement on the other hand, hurts the person more than any of these. It causes the person to sit down, pity himself or herself and do nothing.




Now this doesn't have to happen, but unfortunately it all too frequently does. Not until we realize that discouragement is often a form of self pity, do we begin to take stock of ourselves and our predicament and decide to act ... to do something that will take us out of the unpleasant situation.



Most of us have experienced discouragement at some time in our lives, some more than others.  But it can be defeated, often with the help of a loving partner, a supportive coach or mentor, or through reading about the challenges that others have overcome. As well as the love and support of others, and coming to love ourselves, we need to continuously develop the muscle of determination and the fuel of our vision, our great purpose and our reason to keeping on keeping on.  That way setbacks or criticisms are no more than temporary events, and in overcoming them we grow stronger, not weaker.

Chris Howard used to say "When tou meet an obstacle, get Excited!  It means that you are getting closer to your goal.  No goal, no obstacles, so get excited and overcome it!

To Success in all your ventures!

David