Heaven, or Hell? It's a matter of attitude!

I am grateful to my former foster Son Richard Sheldrake for this story.  How are you Richard?  we lost touch a bit but with the opportuirues of the internet we should soon be back in contact.

So, the story....

A great Chinese sage was granted a vision of Hell, and Heaven. (This seems culturally dissonant, but bear with me!)  In the first vision, of Hell, he was taken into a banqueting hall where there were tables laden with dishes of the most rare and delicious food, their appetizing aromas filling the hall with mouthwatering scents.

Around the table were the damned, unable to taste the delicious banquet because they were provided only with chopsticks 9 feet long!  Unable to feast on the delicious food they were condemned to eternal hunger and frustration with their sustenance and reward eternally out of reach.

Full of sorrow and pity for the fate of the eternally condemned the sage was led from this sad place t another hall, where again he was surprised to see tables laden with dishes of the most rare and delicious food, their appetizing aromas filling the hall with mouthwatering scents.  As before, the diners were provided only with chopsticks 9 feet long, but in contrast to the first hall this was filled with laughter and merriment as everyone enjoyed the wonderful food provided for their sustenance and delight. 

They were feeding each other!

Who have you fed. or helped, today?


 

Confidence: The Power to Take Control and Live the Life You Want - By Dr Rob Young

Another review of this awesome book!

This book is divided into two sections. The first section is about 'developing life-long confidence' and is like a long-term action plan. This half of the book covers topics such as tackling doubts and niggles ('automatic negative thoughts' is what the author calls them) which I found useful. There's a chapter on positive body language too, which contained some gems of instruction on controlling your breathing in order to control how you feel and come across.

The first half of the book explains things in more depth, while the second section of the book is a series of short chapters containing 10 key points on tackling key topics. It'll help you to understand if this book could be useful to you if I list all of the topics covered:
~ Confident public speaking and presentations
~ Confident conversations and socialising
~ Confident dating
~ Confident meetings at work and networking
~ Confident job interviews
~ Confident life change
~ Handling conflict with confidence
~ Health, fitness and body confidence
~ Quick confidence

I found these short, targeted chapters very useful too.

Writing style of the book is clear and encouraging without being patronising. If you like to understand why you should use a particular technique, the author sometimes mentions snippets of resarch to back up his recommendations too. Great book!
Review by   R Freeman

How to Be Confident without Being Arrogant

Confidence is a powerful trait. Confidence can make you successful. Confident people are like magnets…they tend to capture the attention, trust and respect of those around them. They believe they can do it, so they take risks and reap the rewards. It’s reassuring to work with someone who shows confidence in his work and his ability to get the job done and done well. And confidence can be contagious — we all want to surround ourselves with self-assured people who make us feel like we can do it, too.
But there is a thin line between being confident and being arrogant. No one likes a know-it-all, or someone who doesn’t listen because they believe they have nothing to learn. If you display arrogance, you may turn people off, lose potential opportunities and hurt your reputation. Not to mention it can be a lonely way to live. So here are some ways to maximize your confidence without encroaching into arrogance territory.

Accepting the Real Face of Self-Confidence

Self-Confidence seems to be all the rage these days in the realm of personal development, but few people have a real idea as to how they can affect real change in the arena of exuding a positive demeanor through their conduct.  Many self-help premises designed to develop self-confidence seem mostly geared towards placing the focus only on the achievements as opposed to the failures, when really, the most progress can be made when holding to the strategy that both are nothing more than experiences from which to learn.
Make no mistake; great strides are possible in building self-confidence by taking stock and basking in the moment of achievement for even the smallest accomplishments along the way.  The majority of the times, the minor successes are overlooked in exchange for a potential failure imposed on the bigger scheme of things to come.  Of important note is that we will not always achieve each and every little goal we originally set out to tackle since our endgame may have to change as we progress.

How to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

There's no room for adventure and excitement in your comfort zone; in fact, over time you might feel overwhelmed and trapped by boredom and fear. Perhaps it's time to stretch those limits a little! Not only will your life become more exciting, but you'll also build confidence and improve your luck
.

1. Make a fool of yourself. One of the biggest things that holds many of us back is our fear of what people think. After all, you don't want people to think you're weird or rude or creepy or obnoxious or annoying, do you? But wait -- think about the most lovable, magnetic people you've come across in your life. Odds are, they weren't the meek, agreeable people who are reliably pleasant to be around.

Confidence: The Power to Take Control and Live the Life You Want

This book will transform your life. With confidence you can make a success of just about anything!
The second edition of this bestselling book combines the best and most effective methods from

•  CBT,
•  NLP,
•  sports psychology
•  positive psychology

 and much much more, into a definitive and indispensable guide to feeling confident, acting confident, being confident and using these positive mindsets to achieve all your goals.

There’s no psychobabble, no confusing jargon and no demanding and unrealistic expectations, just quick and brilliant ‘Dos’ and ‘Don’ts’ that get you right to the heart of confidence.
Written by a top business and life coach, this new edition features new chapters and content on dealing with conflict, holding confident conversations, confident dating and the 10 Top Tips to boost your confidence NOW!

Do Not Let Limiting Beliefs Sap Your Confidence!

Psychologist and mental health blogger Elisha Goldstein quotes a favorite author of mine, Don Miguel Ruiz, in his post “4 Steps to Getting Free from Limiting Beliefs”: “You see everything is about belief, whatever we believe rules our existence, rules our life.”
I’ve been using Ruiz’s book, “The Four Agreements,” to help me process the beliefs of others, especially toward me (i.e. “people who struggle from depression are lazy”). But Elisha is right when he explains that the beliefs we hold about ourselves are just as disabling and disempowering as the ones other folks hold about us. He writes:

Of course, whatever we believe colors the lenses of how we see the world and our very next interaction. If we believe we can’t give that speech, lose that weight or live without our Blackberries or IPhones every minute it’s going to be a heck of a lot harder if not impossible to do so. The same goes for getting through anxiety, depression, or addiction. We start to integrate fundamental beliefs in this world from the time we’re in the womb. We’re already beginning to sense the environment around us, taking in and processing information. As life progresses we start to integrate this information as truths. Everything is fresh and new, so what we see must be how the world is. If our parents were erratic or abusive, we interpreted the world as unsafe or insecure and that stayed with us as a feeling of fear to this day. Maybe there is the belief that it’s impossible to love or be loved. Or perhaps they didn’t pay attention to us and so we sprout the belief that we are unworthy. However, at the end of the day it’s all just a story, not a truth, not a fact.

We have the ability to change our stories and beliefs, of course. But the process is difficult and doesn’t produce magic overnight (unless you’re smoking weed as you try). Here are four steps that Dr. Goldstein suggests to form new neural connections that will assist toward mental health and develop breaks before we hit panic:

10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence

Self confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits. Your perception of yourself has an enormous impact on how others perceive you. Perception is reality — the more self confidence you have, the more likely it is you’ll succeed.
Although many of the factors affecting self confidence are beyond your control, there are a number of things you can consciously do to build self confidence. By using these 10 strategies you can get the mental edge you need to reach your potential.

Build Self Confidence

This Classic Book Can Change Your Life!

How to Win Friends And Influence People, by Dale Carnegie.
You will have noticed that we do not always recommend the trendiest, latest publications but go for the tried and tested: the books and strategies that have stood the test of time and helped hundreds of thousands of people to achieve One Hundred Per Cent Confidence. 

If you have read the book, you will understand why we are recommending it, and if you have not yet read "How to Win Friends And Influence People" then lose no time in getting your hands on a copy.  Listen to what other readers have said;
"This Book Can Change Hour Life! Have you ever met someone that immediately made you feel at ease? Have you ever met someone who seems so pleasant and makes you genuinely feel good about yourself? Or someone that makes you feel inspired? Or someone who gives you confidence?

Building Self-Confidence For Dummies

Learn Supreme Confidence HERE

We could all use a little more confidence in our lives. With a push in the right direction, you can discover how to carry yourself confidently at work, at home, and even in relationships. This friendly guide by Kate Burton and Brinley Platts shows you what confidence is and where it comes from, and offers practical tips and techniques to build on your skills, challenge your fears, and channel your energy into a more effective you.

• Discover how to Recognise your strengths 
• See things from a brighter perspective 
• Say ′No′ with confidence
•  Build confidence in others 
• Raise confident children

I can't remember how many copies of this book I have bought to give to people who are struggling to regain lost confidence or people lost within themselves unable to find their natural confidence. Well written, it's a great 'pick up/put down' book which seems to always fall open at the relevant page every time I open it! It's full of good advice and serves as a reminder of things long forgotten when you find yourself in a confidence dilemma. There are things to do and work on, tips and a wonderful collection of case studies which are helpful and useful for identifying with the situations described. I believe this book is a 'must' for anyone looking to regain or boost confidence and consequently get more out of life. This book accompanies me through life and has become a good friend.

By 

Linda Ogley

More Free Tips on Massive Confidence HERE
 
Buy it now from Amazon!

How to be Socially Confident: Power & Self Esteem

Confidence and self esteem are problems we all get to face at one point or another. Does this mean we have to live with it for the rest of our lives? Absolutely not. Learn how to be a much better person when being by yourself, and within a social situation.

Remember that no one is any better than you are. If someone can perform well in a social environment, why can't you? Really, what's the worst thing that could happen? Why do you feel better when talking in front of your family and friends, but not when dealing with new faces? We're all people with the same abilities. Stop wondering what others will think of you. Just get out there and do it.

Stop worrying ahead. When dealing with social situations, for example, people immediately start thinking about the public's reaction. Furthermore, have you noticed it's never a positive one? Do not get ahead of yourself. Do not start thinking "what if"; This will only turn any (negative) possible outcome into reality. Live in the present.

Do you need to develop more confidence and self esteem?  Check out the resources here.

 http://www.ehow.com/how_2080212_socially-confident-power-self-esteem.html