Have you ever made a decision to make a change in your life?
Then came up with a plan on how to implement it, made a start and within
a couple of hours or days you were right back in the same old behavior?
A little more frustrated and discouraged, and wondering why it's so
hard to change? Learning how to let go of the limiting beliefs and
behaviors that block our attempts at positive change is a process that
requires due diligence.
If you've ever tried and failed to make changes in your behavior you'll know that consciously directing your willpower alone is ineffective most of the time. For change to be effective and long-term, it has to happen with the cooperation of the subconscious mind where our ingrained beliefs, blocks and barriers reside. After all, your mind with all its negative thoughts, excuses and poor decisions is what created this mess in the first place!
Letting go of limitations requires a deeper level of investigation and correction as outlined in the following four steps:
Just Who Do You Think You Are?
Did you ever hear that line from your parents? From a parental perspective, it was meant as a signal to start toeing the line if one of the kids was "getting too big for your britches".
Ironically, it's a great question to get into the habit of asking yourself!
One of the reasons we find change so difficult is because we don't have a clear, defined sense of identity based on our own values. Rather, we've formed our personality, characteristics and habitual traits from modeling our parents' behavior and from assuming that their assessment of us was accurate. Which makes it very difficult to be true to ourselves because we're too busy trying to be true to someone else's idea of who we are. And that includes all of their fears, doubts and limitations.
As we repeatedly observed our parents and heard their opinions we formed beliefs about our own identity, and these beliefs then snuggled nicely into the subconscious mind.
With this constant repetition the thoughts and accompanying feelings then became hardwired into the nerve cells in our brains. This hard wiring of neurons then formed networks that allow us to do things automatically - like riding a bike. After a skill has been mastered, we don't have to consciously think about it anymore as it's become routine. Our conscious mind is now free to master new tasks while the subconscious looks after the old and familiar.
This is why we never really think about who we are. We believe we already know, but all we really know is what others have told us. As children, we believe this in order to fit in, be looked after and to feel safe in our environment.
But, what if they were wrong?
After all, who made parents the grand poobahs of knowing-all-there-is-to-know? What rule book were they given to determine how someone else should live, what their children can or can't accomplish or how they need to behave in order to "get by"? Their limited beliefs came from the limited beliefs of their parents!
We See What We Want to See.
So, after we've mastered mimicking the thought patterns of our parents (or other caretakers) we now have an idea of who we are that fits nicely into their little box of limitations. We then like to defend this self concept, or identity, with a nifty little mind trick known as "confirmation bias".
Confirmation bias is a tendency we have to seek and remember information that confirms our beliefs. This tendency to favor information selectively is even stronger with issues that have a strong emotional pull or deeply embedded beliefs. Like our beliefs, thoughts and feelings about our own identity.
We literally see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear. If we believe ideas with a powerful emotional charge we will actually interpret neutral information to support our existing mindset.
- "I'm not good enough to ____ (fill in the blank)"
- "It's too hard to lose weight" or
- "Money's hard to come by" etc. All become self-fulfilling prophecies as we gravitate to, or manufacture, evidence to support our deeply ingrained ideas.
No wonder it seems hard to change!
How to Let Go
To break out of this programmed cycle of thinking and feeling the same way, and getting the same results day after day, it's necessary to initiate a new way of thinking based on self-enquiry.
By asking ourselves a series of new questions about who we are, we break the pattern of the old neural networks firing in the same manner from thinking the same thoughts.
By thinking new thoughts, our brain releases a new chemical signature into our bodies and we experience new feelings. These new feelings further break down the chain reaction of mechanical thinking and we start to experience new ideas - we're quite truthfully changing our minds.
The practice of self-enquiry is as much about learning who you are not, as it is about learning who you are. To arrive at a new vision, you need to recognize who you've been.
Start by observing your habitual thoughts, emotions and reactions in familiar situations - particularly the ones that "push your buttons". The more familiar you become with your automatic tendencies, the greater will be your ability to let them go.
A good idea is to jot down your observations as the day unfolds to get a clear, objective view of what happens internally in your customary environment. Do this for a week or two to get the full panorama of habitual thoughts and feelings.
After you've spent some time with this step, you should start your line of new questions. For the practical purposes of learning how to let go of limitations and breaking old habits, use questions designed to stimulate a new vision of who you'd like to be and to disconnect from the old, memorized pathways in the brain.
Become as detached from "you" as possible, and get into the frame of mind of objectively witnessing someone else. You want to feel curious, interested or reflective. Your inquiries should have an open format, so that multiple answers are possible. Some examples for speculation are:
Moving Beyond the Old
Now that you've witnessed the old you and you've created a new mindset, and your new mindset has produced some fresh alternatives for you to explore, it's time to mentally rehearse the new you that you'd like to become.
By questioning how to let go of the past, you've cleared mental space to instil your ideal characteristics and values and become your authentic self. The person you want to be, free of limitations and restrictions.
To do this, you need to bypass the analytical mind that blocks access to the subconscious where our mechanical traits reside. A number of methods to go beyond this critical guardian are available such as hypnosis, self-hypnosis, meditation and relaxation exercises. Whatever works best for you to allow your brainwaves to gradually drop down from the normal (conscious, wakeful) state of Beta wave function into the slower realms of Alpha and Theta is required.
Once in this state of relaxed awareness you can direct your attention to produce the identity you desire. This is the act of visualization, and if performed consistently in the deeper levels of consciousness for a period of 3 to 4 weeks, your vision will become your newborn self concept that will in turn become your default settings.
Visualizing should incorporate all the qualities that you desire; the emotional states, the physical attributes, empowering attitudes, thinking processes, postures, health etc. Practice 10 - 20 minutes daily for best results. As you keep up with your practices you'll notice three important results:
a) Your old behaviors will fall away of their own accord. Much different from past attempts to change, there will be little need for constant vigilance as your time and efforts in witnessing, self-enquiry and mental rehearsals have swept away the internal conflicts between the conscious and subconscious levels of your mind.
b) Consequently, the issue of discipline in monitoring your new behavior will be much easier than in the past as your mental practicing has already begun to bond and mechanize more appropriate neural networks.
c) Finally, outcomes in "real" situations will be different because your subconscious is already aligned with your new personality. And, as you realize your new results you'll gain more confidence. Which will encourage positive self talk, which in turn promotes feelings of strength and assurance. The new self talk and positive feelings will then cause the brain to release new chemicals to reinforce your new state of being!
By taking the time to bring automatic thoughts, feelings and behavior into your conscious behavior you'll see how you default to habitual responses and defend your own limitations with personal biases. Once you know what it is you're holding onto, you can learn to let go though self-enquiry and thinking in new, imaginative ways to stimulate a strong, powerful vision of yourself. And through the daily practice of visualization, your intentions for new behaviors and attitudes will naturally fall into place and become the norm.
There's no quick fix or magic bullet for learning how to let go of limitations, but considering how long you've held on to them isn't a few weeks of your time worth the results you'll achieve?
With a bit of patience, the repetitive loop begins all over again - but this time it's of your own choosing and design.
If you've ever tried and failed to make changes in your behavior you'll know that consciously directing your willpower alone is ineffective most of the time. For change to be effective and long-term, it has to happen with the cooperation of the subconscious mind where our ingrained beliefs, blocks and barriers reside. After all, your mind with all its negative thoughts, excuses and poor decisions is what created this mess in the first place!
Letting go of limitations requires a deeper level of investigation and correction as outlined in the following four steps:
- willingness for self-appraisal to recognize how we identity with limitations
- understanding and releasing the way we defend our old self concepts
- the vision and tools to go beyond self-imposed barriers
- making change and practicing new behavior at the subconscious level until it's habitual
Just Who Do You Think You Are?
Did you ever hear that line from your parents? From a parental perspective, it was meant as a signal to start toeing the line if one of the kids was "getting too big for your britches".
Ironically, it's a great question to get into the habit of asking yourself!
One of the reasons we find change so difficult is because we don't have a clear, defined sense of identity based on our own values. Rather, we've formed our personality, characteristics and habitual traits from modeling our parents' behavior and from assuming that their assessment of us was accurate. Which makes it very difficult to be true to ourselves because we're too busy trying to be true to someone else's idea of who we are. And that includes all of their fears, doubts and limitations.
As we repeatedly observed our parents and heard their opinions we formed beliefs about our own identity, and these beliefs then snuggled nicely into the subconscious mind.
With this constant repetition the thoughts and accompanying feelings then became hardwired into the nerve cells in our brains. This hard wiring of neurons then formed networks that allow us to do things automatically - like riding a bike. After a skill has been mastered, we don't have to consciously think about it anymore as it's become routine. Our conscious mind is now free to master new tasks while the subconscious looks after the old and familiar.
This is why we never really think about who we are. We believe we already know, but all we really know is what others have told us. As children, we believe this in order to fit in, be looked after and to feel safe in our environment.
But, what if they were wrong?
After all, who made parents the grand poobahs of knowing-all-there-is-to-know? What rule book were they given to determine how someone else should live, what their children can or can't accomplish or how they need to behave in order to "get by"? Their limited beliefs came from the limited beliefs of their parents!
We See What We Want to See.
So, after we've mastered mimicking the thought patterns of our parents (or other caretakers) we now have an idea of who we are that fits nicely into their little box of limitations. We then like to defend this self concept, or identity, with a nifty little mind trick known as "confirmation bias".
Confirmation bias is a tendency we have to seek and remember information that confirms our beliefs. This tendency to favor information selectively is even stronger with issues that have a strong emotional pull or deeply embedded beliefs. Like our beliefs, thoughts and feelings about our own identity.
We literally see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear. If we believe ideas with a powerful emotional charge we will actually interpret neutral information to support our existing mindset.
- "I'm not good enough to ____ (fill in the blank)"
- "It's too hard to lose weight" or
- "Money's hard to come by" etc. All become self-fulfilling prophecies as we gravitate to, or manufacture, evidence to support our deeply ingrained ideas.
No wonder it seems hard to change!
How to Let Go
To break out of this programmed cycle of thinking and feeling the same way, and getting the same results day after day, it's necessary to initiate a new way of thinking based on self-enquiry.
By asking ourselves a series of new questions about who we are, we break the pattern of the old neural networks firing in the same manner from thinking the same thoughts.
By thinking new thoughts, our brain releases a new chemical signature into our bodies and we experience new feelings. These new feelings further break down the chain reaction of mechanical thinking and we start to experience new ideas - we're quite truthfully changing our minds.
The practice of self-enquiry is as much about learning who you are not, as it is about learning who you are. To arrive at a new vision, you need to recognize who you've been.
Start by observing your habitual thoughts, emotions and reactions in familiar situations - particularly the ones that "push your buttons". The more familiar you become with your automatic tendencies, the greater will be your ability to let them go.
A good idea is to jot down your observations as the day unfolds to get a clear, objective view of what happens internally in your customary environment. Do this for a week or two to get the full panorama of habitual thoughts and feelings.
After you've spent some time with this step, you should start your line of new questions. For the practical purposes of learning how to let go of limitations and breaking old habits, use questions designed to stimulate a new vision of who you'd like to be and to disconnect from the old, memorized pathways in the brain.
Become as detached from "you" as possible, and get into the frame of mind of objectively witnessing someone else. You want to feel curious, interested or reflective. Your inquiries should have an open format, so that multiple answers are possible. Some examples for speculation are:
- Who am I? Am I these thoughts? Or am I these feelings?
- Would it be possible for me to experience something different?
- What would be a better way for me to deal with this?
- What if I were more like that person (someone you admire), how would they handle this?
- If I didn't have to feel this way, how would I respond?
- If I had the right conditions and resources, what would I do differently?
Moving Beyond the Old
Now that you've witnessed the old you and you've created a new mindset, and your new mindset has produced some fresh alternatives for you to explore, it's time to mentally rehearse the new you that you'd like to become.
By questioning how to let go of the past, you've cleared mental space to instil your ideal characteristics and values and become your authentic self. The person you want to be, free of limitations and restrictions.
To do this, you need to bypass the analytical mind that blocks access to the subconscious where our mechanical traits reside. A number of methods to go beyond this critical guardian are available such as hypnosis, self-hypnosis, meditation and relaxation exercises. Whatever works best for you to allow your brainwaves to gradually drop down from the normal (conscious, wakeful) state of Beta wave function into the slower realms of Alpha and Theta is required.
Once in this state of relaxed awareness you can direct your attention to produce the identity you desire. This is the act of visualization, and if performed consistently in the deeper levels of consciousness for a period of 3 to 4 weeks, your vision will become your newborn self concept that will in turn become your default settings.
Visualizing should incorporate all the qualities that you desire; the emotional states, the physical attributes, empowering attitudes, thinking processes, postures, health etc. Practice 10 - 20 minutes daily for best results. As you keep up with your practices you'll notice three important results:
a) Your old behaviors will fall away of their own accord. Much different from past attempts to change, there will be little need for constant vigilance as your time and efforts in witnessing, self-enquiry and mental rehearsals have swept away the internal conflicts between the conscious and subconscious levels of your mind.
b) Consequently, the issue of discipline in monitoring your new behavior will be much easier than in the past as your mental practicing has already begun to bond and mechanize more appropriate neural networks.
c) Finally, outcomes in "real" situations will be different because your subconscious is already aligned with your new personality. And, as you realize your new results you'll gain more confidence. Which will encourage positive self talk, which in turn promotes feelings of strength and assurance. The new self talk and positive feelings will then cause the brain to release new chemicals to reinforce your new state of being!
By taking the time to bring automatic thoughts, feelings and behavior into your conscious behavior you'll see how you default to habitual responses and defend your own limitations with personal biases. Once you know what it is you're holding onto, you can learn to let go though self-enquiry and thinking in new, imaginative ways to stimulate a strong, powerful vision of yourself. And through the daily practice of visualization, your intentions for new behaviors and attitudes will naturally fall into place and become the norm.
There's no quick fix or magic bullet for learning how to let go of limitations, but considering how long you've held on to them isn't a few weeks of your time worth the results you'll achieve?
With a bit of patience, the repetitive loop begins all over again - but this time it's of your own choosing and design.
Lorna Atkinson invites you to challenge yourself to live your dreams and become your greater self by letting go of the past.
Don't miss out on becoming the master of your subconscious mind to create the life of your dreams. Learn how to let go of limitations for good and open up to the bounty of possibilities waiting for you to explore.
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lorna_Atkinson
Don't miss out on becoming the master of your subconscious mind to create the life of your dreams. Learn how to let go of limitations for good and open up to the bounty of possibilities waiting for you to explore.
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